After work today, went straight to bed to recover from the massive hang over. Now, I've found myself up in the middle of the night and not feeling sleepy at all. Was just lying, looking at the ceiling and thinking about things. I thought about how my big night out has made me look at my present situation a lot clearer. I've met guys last night and I loved the attention they gave me....who wouldn't? I loved how they'd listen to me passionately and seemed to be intrested in what I'm saying. They seemed to be impressed with what I've accomplished here in Sydney. Well, of course, I'm aware that they might just be pretending because they just want to get laid. But that doesn't matter. What's important is the feeling they gave me and how I realize I can't remember to be feeling that way with my ex. I just loved how I can talk about anything without even worrying that I should shut up because the other person just wants to monopolate the conversation. And that what I'm saying is of no interest to them therefore why should he listen? I liked how I felt I was being listened to passionately. It's been a while since I've felt that. So regardless of them being sincere about being interested to what I was saying or they were just pretending hoping they'd get laid, that's irrelevant for me. Because as far as I am concern, they can just drool there but I am not gonna do anything stupid as having a one night stand with them. It would be an adventure for me but that's just something I cannot see myself doing at all. I just loved the attention I got from them. It's always the case...when you break-up, your self-esteem just crumbles down as your heart is being crushed by the pain you're going through.
You tend to hide in your shell, isolate yourself and just sulk because whether you like it or not you just lose that confidence. You just want to be alone. But later, you slowly realize you can't forever hide. You would eventually go out there, have a little bit of fun but still keeping your morals intact. And in the process, you'll realize your self-worth again.