Two nights left here in my old place...I'm quite sad to leave. But as I mentioned earlier....we use and we are used. People that come to our lives, we stick together because we use each other...in a positive way, most often than not. In as much as I would want to stay, I know deep within me it's time to move on. I hate to imagine myself saying goodbye to my flatmate....I might just cry on Sunday.

Moving to my new place gives me just mixed feelings. Happy to have my independence finally, but a bit anxious to be on my own. I'm pretty sure I'll cope well. It's just a matter of getting used to it.

We live in a world of co-dependence.....all living creatures need fellow creatures to survive. We all use each other and we all are used by others, that's a fact. People will stick with you because you offer them something they need and they can just dump you once they've got better options. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of this...who's not anyway? You may deny it or not but everyone is like this. Everything seems to be disposable. When there's nothing in it for us then we don't bother...we move on. This is just a thought I was pondering on at work today. It's not because I was recently a victim....just a realization that visited my mind once again since I see it everywhere.

Been very busy lately. So preoccupied with the moving out - moving in, buying this - throwing that. Still not done though. I spent Saturday assembling my bed....that was so challenging! I never assembled anything in my life as I'd always leave it to guys but I guess, I had no choice this time. Actually, I could have asked help from any of my male friends but I thought, I can't be bothered bothering them. With enough determination, I managed. I found it hard buy I enjoyed it. Next mission: side table and drawer.....I'll see how good I'll be.

I may be busy but it's nice to know I've never felt as peaceful as I am now. Everything seems to be light.

Two of my friends have seen my new place. Though it's still in total chaos, they liked it a lot! What's even nicer is I discovered I can walk to the city. I'd probably be walking home 2-3 times a week...it's such an enjoyable walk since I'd pass by the domain...it's relaxing. I discovered this when my friend and I went to Woolloomoolloo last night to check out QM2, the largest ship in the world.

A part of me is quite sad to be leaving my place in the city. I've been here for 2 years and somehow I've become attached to the place and my flatmate too. Despite the occasional inconvenience, it was still good. A lot of memories I'll bring with me and in the future, will fondly reminsce my time here. Well, most things are bound to end anyway and this is one of those. It's time to move on, time to have a fresh start, time to reward myself for what I have achieved in my life so far.

So once I've settled in my new place, I wonder what's next to my agenda?......who knows!

Bought furniture for my bedroom, paid the bond, got the keys, scheduled the furniture delivery tomorrow. I'm all set...hmm...almost....only thing I've got to do is to pack which is not exciting at all! I wish I can skip that part.

Valentine's Day....very overrated....hmm...do I sound bitter? hehe

Finally, I'm moving out. Found an amazing place in Potts Point! This is just what I need, a fresh start. I feel like I've been stuck in the city for too long now. It's time to move on. I'll be busy with buying stuff for my place...can't wait to decorate my place just the way I want it to be.

I'm in high spirits today...that's good. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I closed a deal today. I feel somehow I got my vindication from what had happened the other day. She's still struggling with her deals. I knew all along it will come back to me. I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong anyway. I've always believed in the law of karma....what goes around comes around. If you give out negative energy, negative energy you'll get. It's hard to practice though. I'm only human. Sometimes you have to let things be, let them be, no matter how irritated you are. I know it's hard but sooner or later things will pass and you'll find yourself at a better position than the other party. You have to remember that it's better to have someone put you down than the other way around especially when you know in your heart you didn't do anything wrong, don't fret....always remember, it's a nice feeling to get your vindication in the end....hmm..it's not so bad after all!

Had a conflict with a colleague at work today. It's just annoying how people can be so assuming. I go to work mainly because to work and some people will just put more meaning to that. Accused me of being dodgy when I know for a fact that I'm not. What's even more annoying was it had to escalate to our managers. I know my manager remained unbiased but not hers. It just didn't come out fairly. They clarified that I wasn't being attacked but from the sound of it,their party already had their own conclusion and I was left with no choice but to defend myself. I am a believer that people who normally accuse people of something are actually the ones who are guilty of that wrong doing. It takes one to no one as what they say. This is not the first time this happened. I know later I will be vindicated again. I know I didn't do anything wrong but it's just not fair. Looking back at what had happened, I'm still raging! I'm raging with the fact that I failed to say enough to defend myself.

Wouldn't it be nice to come home after a long and tiring day at work still feeling light because you know that there's someone by your side who'll always be there for you. When you know there's someone assisting you in carrying the burden. Just someone there by your side makes a big difference on your perspective about life.

A thought crossed my mind just now? Why am I here in the first place? What for? When I just can go home. Maybe if I'd do, who knows, after all those flights back and forth, I'd still settle in my home country after all?!

I just wish I can totally say I'm very very ok but I can't. There are these low episodes in my life still. Though recurrence is not as often, but still, they exist. I just wish the episodes are gone coz once they are then that's when I can totally say I'm very very ok.

Someone once told me, during a break up, you have to distinguish where your sadness is coming from...is it because you miss the person or you miss the feeling? If it's just the feeling you miss then it means you don't love the person as much. If it's the person, than that's a different story. I know for a fact where my sadness is from.....as if there's anything I can do about this. God knows how hard I tried. All I have to do now is just wait till the sun shines on me again....there are things beyond my control.....at the moment, I know I don't want to be mad anymore, I don't wanna look back and point my finger to people. I've been praying that He'd take away the pain because it just makes the load a lot heavier. So far He's been answering my prayer. Right now, I'm just finding again my purpose in life....I seemed to be lost again............