I saw this funny film about relationships. It made me feel normal. I thought I'm such a control freak. It's good to know that though this trait may not be the ideal one...well I'm not the only one like this. The film just stressed the fact how women are naturally control freaks and how men will always be like boys. Once men take responsibility for their actions, they naturally learn how to make women to stop being control freaks. Then there will be peace and harmony. All it takes for a woman to shut up is if they feel supported and understood. All we just want is for our men to be men enough for us. Why is that so hard to do for some men?

Had a long day today....finally bought the perfect dining table that will fit my living area. It's a decent little table, space-saving good for up to 4 people. I'm just proud of what I've purchased. Since Dad's coming soon...I'm obliged to fully furnish my place to make my house look more of a home, presentable enough for Dad.

I'm so looking forward for Dad to arrive. The main reason why he's coming now is for my birthday. But it looks like he won't be making it on time as it's hard to get flights to Sydney. Craig's not gonna be with me either. Though I'm blessed with friends who would want to make sure I'll have an amazing day...it just feels pathetic. For the first time ever, I don't look forward to celebrating my birthday. Can I just skip that day and await for Dad's arrival? I feel like just sleeping it through that day. I know it's gonna be a depressing one. I'd rather be on my own on that day than pretend to my friends that I'm having a fabulous day with them when I know deep inside I still would feel alone and lonely. The restaurant's booked already but still haven't invited everyone yet. Maybe I can just cancel it and just sulk and be depressed. What's there to celebrate? It's just another day, a day when I'm just gonna get another year older. My last year on my 20's and still alone and single. And I just can picture myself celebrating that day....miserably! Just anticipating that day.....tears just won't stop falling! I don't want to be Saturday!!!!

Reality is painful...it hurts for the moment. But there's resilience....you'll cope. Later you will look back and just smile at what you've gone through.

Nearly 29.....things will change from now on. Respect....I owe that to myself.

If I'm gonna go out....not because I wanted to but because I have to. I was made to...do I have a choice, yes...

I've got reasons, valid reasons why I shouldn't stick around. There's so much out there, definitely better out there. Why the hell am I settling anyway? There's nothing to lose.

Men...they're all vultures....go out there, act available, show motives, they'll just grab every opportunity. If you're looking for fun, they're just out there! One thing's nice though....the attention, the flattery...it all feels good! What's with me and military guys lately? I wonder why...two nights in a row! Not my cup of tea...will do for now. Got to think of it...what's my cup of tea anyway? I don't ask so much, just would like someone who can be man enough to tell me how much they feel for me. Actions wouldn't be enough as it can be misinterpreted. With words, it's pretty straightforward. I am considering, maybe it's easier to just settle with someone with the same culture as me....less complication. Someone like him....he's a lawyer now....we're in contact again.....he will always be someone I'd always wonder about...if I didn't leave, would something more than what we had could have happened? Who knows? One thing I know for sure, my family would have liked him. He knew how to treat girls.....real gentleman.

Jerks, bitches...they are everywhere. I encounter them everyday. By now, I've realized to just ignore their behaviour. Don't see the point why I have to waste my time getting stressed about dealing with them when there are far more important things I should focus on. Some may just be jealous and insecure of me so they try to put me down. As for me, that's the least of my concern now. As long as I keep my focus, do what I know is right then I'll be alright. The hell with what they think of me. Living in Sydney on my own...I have to learn how to be thick-skinned. All I can say to them, keep behaving that way. The more you try to put me down the more jerk you will look like. I will definitely have the last laugh because I know I will be successful no matter how you guys question me! Instead of getting mad at all of you, I think it's better to just not take all of you seriously, in that way it all goes back to you! Hahaha!

Met these 3 guys after doing my shopping. They looked lost so I offered to help. We caught the same bus....they happened to be holidaying for the weekend. They work in the ship and they just docked. At woollomoolloo, they pointed me their ship..it was huge! They offered to give me a tour in there ship....yeah, yeah, whatever, I didn't take them seriously. I got home, watched the news...and there you go, the ship was on the news. It was actually Kitty Hawk! Now I regret to have not taken those guys seriously with their offer....it's never too late though!

By the end of this month, I'm up for a new challenge. I can smell promotion soon. At the moment, I'm happy being groomed towards it. For starters, managing my own event...not bad hey?

It's official, he has left. It was sad. I just hate goodbyes....I couldn't help the tears that fell down from my eyes when I hugged him. Despite the fights we had, I appreciate him in the end. He rarely say nice things but when he does I know he was sincere. His goodbye message: You are a determined person, very hardworking, you will succeed in life. I never thought he recognized these traits in me.

In the bus this morning on my way to work.....I finally found the word I've been thinking of for days....bland...that's it. It's just bland.